Leading from a Distance: When Presence Is Missing
When Leadership Checks Out: The High Cost of Disconnection
I made a promise to myself early on: I would never stay in ministry just for a paycheck. Ministry, to me, is a sacred calling—not a career ladder to climb or a safety net to fall back on. And yet, I've seen what happens when leaders prioritize comfort over connection. When job security trumps relational investment, the community inevitably pays the price.
Let’s be real—disconnected leadership is dangerous. It breeds a culture where blame is deflected instead of owned, where honest feedback is seen as a threat rather than a gift, and where trust quietly erodes one unreturned phone call, missed meeting, or passive-aggressive email at a time.
From what I’ve observed (and experienced firsthand), many conflicts in churches don’t start in the pews—they start in the office. They begin with leaders who aren’t self-aware, who aren’t truly listening, and who aren't showing up—physically, emotionally, or spiritually. What could’ve been a small issue becomes a relational forest fire, not because people are difficult, but because leadership failed to lean in early.
A leader's posture sets the tone for the entire team. When leaders are absent, disengaged, or only present in moments of crisis, staff and volunteers don’t feel safe. They feel overlooked, undervalued, and unsure of where they stand. But when leaders are approachable—when they model humility, empathy, and consistency—they create space for people to thrive. The difference is night and day.
And then there’s the puzzling scenario: part-time leaders with full-time paychecks, making part-time appearances and placing underqualified individuals in key roles. It’s hard to rally a team around a vision when the person casting it is rarely in the room. If a leader is missing from staff meetings, dodging hard conversations, or only engaging during conflict, the ripple effect is felt deeply. Teams lose direction. Morale tanks. And the congregation? They feel it too, even if they can’t quite name what’s wrong.
Leadership isn’t just about strategy and sermons. It’s about presence. Trust. Connection. It’s about taking the time to see people, listen well, and show up consistently—not only in the pulpit but behind the scenes where culture is shaped and relationships are built.
Let’s Start the Conversation
If you’re a leader: take a moment this week to ask your team how they’re really doing—and be ready to listen.
If you’re part of a church community: pray for your leaders. Check in with them. Don’t assume they’re okay just because they’re leading.
If something in this post stirred you: share it. Start a conversation with someone you trust. Ask honest questions. Get curious about the culture you're creating—or enduring.
Because leadership doesn’t have to be lonely. And connection isn’t optional—it’s essential.
