Above Reproach: The Call to Ethical Leadership in Ministry
Preaching to the Choir... or Just to Me?
Let me offer this perspective as someone who—lucky me—survived two weeks of public sermons that were a little too on the nose. You know the kind. The kind where you start wondering if the preacher’s been reading your text messages or your journal. Spoiler: the messages were subtly (and not-so-subtly) aimed at my conflict with the executive leadership I was working with. Fun times.
Let’s just say, it’s one thing to be "convicted by the Spirit." It's another thing entirely to feel like you're being low-key roasted from the pulpit.
These kinds of situations are more than just awkward—they walk a fine ethical line. In fact, it's less a line and more a tightrope over a pit of relational chaos and broken trust. And here's the thing: pastors really need to resist the urge to tailor their sermons based on private knowledge of people’s lives—especially when that knowledge came through counseling or confidential conversations.
Here’s why:
1. Scripture is for Everyone (Not Just That One Guy in Row Three)
The beauty of the gospel is that it speaks to all of us—every story, every struggle, every season. When a sermon becomes too personalized, it can lose its universal power. The Word of God isn’t a custom-built soapbox for targeting someone’s Tuesday drama. It’s a lifeline of truth, grace, and redemption for everyone in the room.
2. Favoritism or “Subtweet Preaching” Doesn’t Build Unity
When sermons start sounding like passive-aggressive notes slipped under a door, the congregation notices—and not in a good way. People start wondering, “Is he talking about me now?” That kind of suspicion doesn’t build trust. It builds silos. And in a place meant for community and healing, that’s the last thing we need.
3. Confidentiality Isn’t Optional
Pastoral counseling is sacred ground. If people start to think their deepest struggles might show up in a sermon illustration (even if “names have been changed”), that trust erodes fast. Vulnerability dries up. People stop reaching out. And the whole pastoral relationship suffers—because once that bridge is burned, it’s hard to rebuild.
4. Trying to Please Everyone is Exhausting (and Impossible)
Here’s a wild idea: what if pastors didn’t have to be mind-readers, therapists, and conflict-resolution ninjas every Sunday? Tailoring every sermon to address this person’s issue and that situation’s tension is a one-way ticket to burnout. Not even Jesus tried to tailor every parable to everyone’s current crisis. (And He was, you know, Jesus.)
5. Let the Holy Spirit Do the Heavy Lifting
Pastors are called to faithfully preach the Word, not micromanage spiritual conviction. The Holy Spirit has a pretty solid track record of applying truth to hearts in just the right way. When the sermon stays rooted in Scripture, people will see themselves in it—without needing to be subtly name-dropped from the pulpit.
So What’s the Takeaway?
Pastors: trust the power of the Word. Preach broadly and boldly. Let the Holy Spirit personalize it.
Congregants: be alert, not paranoid. If something hits close to home, ask yourself if it’s conviction or coincidence—but if it starts feeling like you’re a recurring character in someone else’s sermon series... it might be time for a conversation.
At the end of the day, ethical preaching isn’t just about content—it’s about character. It’s about creating a space where people feel safe, seen, and shepherded—not spotlighted.
Let’s Talk About It
Have you ever experienced or witnessed a sermon that crossed the line from helpful to hurtful? Or maybe you’ve wrestled with where the line even is? Let’s open up the conversation. Drop a comment, message me, or share this post with someone who’s passionate about keeping integrity at the heart of ministry.
Because preaching shouldn’t feel like a weapon—it should feel like an invitation.
