From Emotion to Foundation: My Journey Out of Charismania
I recently walked through a season of recovery — not from a scandal or a setback, but from a sincere, deeply rooted chapter of my faith journey: my time in the charismatic movement. That season shaped me in profound ways — some beautiful, some painful. But now, I find myself looking back, reflecting, and realigning.
It’s not easy to question a system you were once part of. It’s even harder to leave it. But over time, I started to notice troubling patterns that I couldn’t ignore. I found myself in an environment where asking honest questions was met with quiet resistance, where unity was often mistaken for uniformity, and where passion sometimes replaced truth.
Here’s what I’ve come to learn — and why I ultimately chose a different path:
1. Theological Concerns
Scripture should shape our theology, not the other way around. Yet I found that certain charismatic teachings leaned heavily on isolated verses while ignoring the broader counsel of God’s Word. Truth matters — and I wanted a faith grounded in the full counsel of scripture, not just what “felt” powerful.
2. Emotional Manipulation
Worship nights often felt electric. But I began to wonder: were we chasing Jesus… or a feeling? There’s nothing wrong with emotion — God created it. But faith that depends on an emotional high will crash when life gets hard. I wanted something deeper — something that would hold me even when I didn’t feel held.
3. Lack of Accountability
I watched as certain leaders operated with little to no oversight. Questionable teachings went unchallenged. Decisions were made behind closed doors. And instead of healthy correction, there was often silence. I came to believe that a truly Spirit-led church must also be one of structure, integrity, and transparency.
4. Overemphasis on Signs and Wonders
Miracles are biblical. God still moves. But when signs and wonders become the measure of faith, we miss the quiet work of the Spirit in the everyday. I didn’t want a faith built on spectacle — I wanted a faith built on Christ.
5. Community Dynamics
At first, I felt welcomed. But over time, I noticed a subtle hierarchy — those with certain “gifts” had more influence. Others felt invisible. The body of Christ isn’t about competition; it’s about unity. I longed for a community where everyone’s voice mattered, not just the loudest ones.
6. A Theology That Neglects Suffering
Victory was preached constantly — but what about the valleys? Life is filled with both. I needed a theology that could sit with grief, not just shout over it. A faith that could weep with me as much as it could celebrate with me.
7. The Desire for Balance
In the end, I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t bitter. I was hungry — hungry for a more balanced, scripture-rooted, Spirit-aware, and intellectually honest walk with Jesus. I wanted emotion and theology. Passion and depth. Fire and foundation.
A New Chapter
Stepping into the Southern Baptist Convention was a personal shift — one that surprised even me. But I’ve found in it a grounding that I was missing: a high view of scripture, a focus on discipleship, and a clear call to the Great Commission. I’m still growing. Still learning. Still healing. But I’m no longer chasing the wind. I’m anchored.
Final Thoughts — and a Challenge to You:
If any of this resonates with you, I want to lovingly challenge you:
🕊 Examine your faith — not with fear, but with honesty.
🧭 Ask the hard questions. Don’t silence your doubts; explore them.
📖 Let scripture, not just experience, shape your theology.
🛠️ Pursue a faith that can hold up in both revival and suffering.
🤝 And above all, seek a community that values truth, accountability, and real love.
Because at the end of the day, your faith was never meant to be manufactured. It was meant to be rooted — in Christ, in truth, and in a community that reflects His heart.
You don’t have to throw everything away. But you do have to be honest about what’s broken — and courageous enough to walk toward healing.
Your journey matters. And so does your voice.
